Things I Learn on Deployment

So I have decided to list things I learn over the course of my deployment. Check back often to see more.
1. Learn to shave a man's back he'll purr like a walrus.
2. If the office is all guys a 12 hour game of battlefarts is inevitable.
3. The stupidest things that make an illogical debate, will somehow turn in to an intellectual argument usually with graphs and figures.
4. I don't know who Wagner is but he is a very popular Marine, usually named in a sentance containing a homoerotic sexual act, followed by someone writing the statement that Wagner is a boot, as seen in almost every portajohn, smoke shack, and bus stop.
5. People will have sex while deployed, almost everytime it will be in a darker area on base. The people that are dumb about it will obviously get caught and also will have intercourse a month after arriving here, so the higher ups will not take pity on them since it hasn't been 6 months or longer and there shouldn't be explainable sexual tension.
6. the male stages of boredom are as such, 1. Stupid comments 2. Singing songs by 90's boy bands 3. Genital mutilation
7. When having to use a portajohn for a number 2 be sure to lay down a layer of toilet paper to prevent splashbacks.
8. Navy Showers while annoying are nice when the water is cold.
9. When having a morale drive in your office you will always watch the movies that are on even if they are ones you wouldn't want or care to see in the states.
10. If you order something useless from amazon it will arrive here in a week, if its something you really need to use or have, it will not arrive for a month or longer.
11. Do not use a portajohn right after it has been cleaned, it is a wet mess and will in make yourself your cammies and your rifle wet.
12. An RCO will fit on the tactical rail of a nerf gun, and be about 15 clicks off
13. The one most crucial piece of gym equipment is the mirror.
14. Flash games hidden within excel documents are the savior of midshift boredom.
15. Malaria pills give the most realistic dreams; although some envolve your fireteam mates sawing on a table while your fending off two robots with buzz saw arms.
16. Your AC will not always work, learning to be comfortable sleeping in little to no clothes till it gets fixed is a must... although First Sergeant probably doesn't appreciate this when doing room inspections.
17. Protien shakes after working out create some of the worst gas ever.
18. People who work days will always have a game night on saturdays, playing games like chicken army, axis and allies, and some game that no one has ever heard of.
19. Deployments are the easiest way to obtain free movies and tv show seasons.
20. If you try to make sun brewed tea in a water bottle people will think that you urinated in it even when the tea bag is still in the bottle.
21. Butterscotch krimpets are delicious when frozen.
22. While deployed it is natural to fall into a deep sleep, it is even more natural to freak out when a controlled detonation happens causing your room to shake.
23. Chickens have two sets of wings according to the DFAC there is Big Chicken Wing and Little Chicken wings.
24. There are many phantoms on deployment, there is the phantom that takes a number two in the showers and there is the phantom that clogs up the urinal part of a portajohn making it pool up with urine.
25. Barracks cuts while completely unauthorized in the states are completely allowed on deployment and are a great way to save 5.25 every week.